Confessions Of A COVID 19 Lockdown Survivor
How joyfully and merrily we rang in the New Year 2020! The entire world had been lit up in bright coloured lights and the festive Christmas season was still in the air! As the countdown to 2020 began, our hearts pounded, our eyes shone in anticipation of a magnificent year ahead. And when the clock struck 12, the whole world erupted in joyous shouts. Fireworks, bells chiming, confetti, and balloons filled the night skies. While some ushered in the year 2020 reverently in churches or other religious places, many travelled to exotic destinations to celebrate the New Year!
In whatever way the New Year was welcomed, everyone had hopes! Hopes of dreams coming true, hopes of great happiness and peace, hopes of good health and life.
Gleefully, we took 2020 for granted! With great aplomb, we charted out schedules for the whole year. Our expectations and aspirations for the year was high as we planned spectacular trips, successful business ventures, building or buying homes, and so on.
COVID 19 Pandemic
But ,to our utter shock and dismay, 2020 had the last laugh! Never in anyone’s wildest dreams did one foresee what the year had in store for us. We are well advanced in technology and science, so what could go wrong? Aren’t we in the 21st century and invincible?
Nevertheless, unknown to us, a danger was lurking at a faraway location. Before the world could realize what was happening, in a snap it was brought to its knees! By what? By a new tiny microscopic enemy called the Corona-virus or COVID 19. The world went into a pandemic mode and it is still very much in the same mode.
Why is all this happening? We don’t know. No one knows. Only God knows.
“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.” The Bible says in Deuteronomy 9:9 .
The year 2020 was to be a landmark year for me. A year of change, a change that I had been dreaming for ages. My husband and I planned to relocate to the city where my children, sisters, my old mom, and cousins are living. We booked an apartment early in 2020, and after living in an independent house for nearly 50 years, I was looking forward to a gated community lifestyle. Walks, swimming pool, loads of new friends, dine outs with my children on weekends, and the likes. In March, we hosted a farewell party to our friends whom we had known for 40 years and also to our beloved family members. I had most of my stuff packed away in cardboard boxes.
The LOCKDOWN
Then, an unforeseen and unimaginable situation happened! The LOCKDOWN . We were given just a 4-hour notice and Section 144 was imposed immediately. How will a 4-hour notice suffice for a big country like ours?
Anyway, lockdown happened. It was a phenomenon that I had ever seen or experienced in my lifetime. Suddenly, with no warning, I was stranded all alone in our huge home, with my super senior citizen husband, who is not in the pink of health. Our household helpers were not allowed to come, roads were empty, shops shut down, absolute silence all around, it was kind of eerie, more like a ghost town with not a soul in sight. The atmosphere was filled with fear and panic about the unknown enemy, and the terror felt so real that you could almost touch it!
I felt alarmed and anxious! It was an unique ordeal faced by two senior citizens trapped alone. Unknown obsessive fears crept into my mind. Will I ever be able to see my loved ones ? How do I take my husband to a hospital, if he were to fall ill again? Will I die alone, with no one to bid me a proper farewell? No church funeral service, no memorial service, no favorite hymns? I know all these thoughts are morbid. Scary.
A Distressing Sight
As I was having these morose thoughts, I saw on Tv, our migrant workers walking hundreds of miles, to get back to the safety of their homes. They were a terrified group with no food, water, or footwear, their belongings on their heads and no jobs or money . You could see the hopelessness in their eyes. A real heart-wrenching sight! The hard-hearted Government did nothing, not even arrange transport for these poor migrant workers to return home. We could not help them as we were forced shut at home.
It was odd that I felt in accordance with the migrant workers and I too wanted to head for the city where all my family lived. Maybe it was because I felt insecure and vulnerable.
Then, to add to my woes, I get the news that my sister had to undergo surgery and my cousin fell down and broke her lower jaw bone in three places. That was the last straw! I was in the pits.
Sadly, the lockdown was extended, the nights were disturbing and I could hardly sleep. Ofcourse there was the TV, social media, and the phone. Then as suddenly as the lockdown was enforced , it was lifted. The reason? Our town had become COVID free! Hallelujah! Our joy knew no bounds as our lives went back to normal! Unfortunately, lockdown happened again as Covid victims from other States, started to trickle into our town.
A Much Needed Respite
This respite from the lockdown was like a breath of fresh air for me. I remembered the song we sing in church on every New Year’s Day.
O God Our Help In Ages Past
O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home.
With gratitude, I remembered that God had led me on so beautifully each year. I also realized that like Peter (in the gospel of Mathew) I took my eyes off Jesus and looked with fear at the storm and the strong winds raging around me- the COVID 19. No wonder I was overwrought and sank into the turbulent sea of panic and anxiety.
Yes, the virus has shattered our lives and turned everything topsy turvy!
Our world has seen many plagues and catastrophes, throughout the centuries, we have come out resilient, haven’t we? As recently as 100 yrs ago, we had the Spanish flu which is very much like the corona, that lasted for 3 long years. Life was back to normal, wasn’t it? Likewise, we shall emerge from this crisis too! We don’t know how. But God will make a way!
Becoming Positive
In these chaotic times, I decided to utilize the time of self-isolation in involuntary self-reflection. Gathering up my notes and jottings that I had written down while listening to sermons, I put together some condensed Bible Study write-ups.
Ultimately, with Gods guidance, I became constructive and started this website called ‘ Silver Lining on Clouds’. Building this website from scratch all by myself, was a learning process which kept me absolutely engrossed and I do hope and pray that it encourages and touches someone, somewhere!
About The Author
Laila, a Christian blogger, empty nester, and mother of three married children is very optimistic person who is always hopeful that difficult days lead to better ones. Believes that nothing is as powerful as a smile, showing compassion and kindness, spreading love and sunshine and to live in peace and harmony.
Survival of the fittest – is nature’s theory.
Yes Jams.Thank you very much.
Laila Akka.. you expressed is so beautifully..Looking back I think God guided you to this wonderful work. We all went through this and are able to relate to this… In fact till May we were confused stressed and lost all the confidence. For me the fear Was whether I would get a chance to see my children at all as they are far away. . I had sleepless nights. As you rightly said it’s only Gods bountiful blessings that gave us the courage to rise up with positivity & hope. . Now We are a lot better though the situation is much worse. We feel this only because we started praying regularly more than usual. and feel so grateful to the good Lord for our family and all our loved ones. Thanks for sharing and I appreciate your effort. My regards to You & Annan. Stay safe Akka. .
Thank you so much Neela.Yes,God will guide us and bring us out of this COVID mess.